One of my students punched me in the eyeball today. My eye is swollen and I have a scratch under my eye. Fun fun. I'm tired of dealing with this. I'm looking for a new job. I'm tired of the system. I'm tired of the parents. I'm tired of being paid less than someone because I haven't finished my degree. F that noise. Someone makes double what I make an hour but I have to train them. That is just not right. I'm sick of it. The bad thing is, now that I'm in the unit, I don't have much of a way out. People aren't lining up to get this job. I'm an asset, which means they won't let me go to another department. I may have to quit completely and start over. We can't afford that.
Ah the joys of employment. Not.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Well, life has been stressful this last week. School started (yay and boo), Jose got a mark down on his EPR, which sucks but it's being thrown out. So that's not too bad. The really crappy news: Jose found out he is number 40 on the non-selectee list to go on a remote (one year away from the family). Since Elizabeth is a Junior this year, that would mean that he would most likely miss her entire Senior year. We decided that we would rather do this on our time and not the Air Force's time. He put in for his remote yesterday. If he gets selected, he will be in place no later than February 2009. Yes, a few short months from now, we could be saying goodbye to him for a year.
So, as a family, we could move to his follow on. We made a "dream sheet" list of six bases we want to go to. We are hoping to get back to Cali close to the family. That way I would have a great support system during the year he is gone. Cross those fingers! One choice would be to stay here and live here till he gets back to assist us in the move to wherever we go. That would mean we would leave here three months before E graduates High School. Not good. So, I would move four kids, a dog, a turtle, and three vehicles across country.
Our choices are limited. We want Jose to go when we choose. We are really torn apart about making this decision. There is never a good time for a husband/father to leave for a year. Sigh. There is just sadness going on right now.
So, as a family, we could move to his follow on. We made a "dream sheet" list of six bases we want to go to. We are hoping to get back to Cali close to the family. That way I would have a great support system during the year he is gone. Cross those fingers! One choice would be to stay here and live here till he gets back to assist us in the move to wherever we go. That would mean we would leave here three months before E graduates High School. Not good. So, I would move four kids, a dog, a turtle, and three vehicles across country.
Our choices are limited. We want Jose to go when we choose. We are really torn apart about making this decision. There is never a good time for a husband/father to leave for a year. Sigh. There is just sadness going on right now.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Grrr! #*@#@!!!
Getting Alejandro's hair cut is a bigger deal than getting Elizabeth's hair cut. He is 14 and according to him, he's never had a good hair cut. Sigh. I swear. He likes looking like a mop, but going to get it "cleaned up" is an ordeal of epic proportions. Why must my son be this way? He drives me bananas.
School starts tomorrow and you'd think that I want him to have a bowl cut by the way he is acting. He doesn't dry his hair, it's wavy and just plain old messy. He looks like a girl. Getting something done to it that would make him a little more masculine is a fight. Sigh. I'm about ready to give up and say "screw it".
We'll see how it comes out, the fellas are off to the barber shop.
Edited to add: The haircut went well. Everyone came home smiling, there was no upset teen with a slamming door. LOL. He looks great and will hopefully keep up with actually styling his hair now.
School starts tomorrow and you'd think that I want him to have a bowl cut by the way he is acting. He doesn't dry his hair, it's wavy and just plain old messy. He looks like a girl. Getting something done to it that would make him a little more masculine is a fight. Sigh. I'm about ready to give up and say "screw it".
We'll see how it comes out, the fellas are off to the barber shop.
Edited to add: The haircut went well. Everyone came home smiling, there was no upset teen with a slamming door. LOL. He looks great and will hopefully keep up with actually styling his hair now.
Friday, August 15, 2008
School is starting again, and other stuff.
Today was the day the younger two got to meet their teachers. Meaning, I got to meet their teachers. They both seem really nice. I am hoping the kids get along well with them.
I met MY new teacher today too. She is just out of college and has never worked with Autism kids before. She seems really nice and sweet. She also seems like she is really trying to learn about Autism. I also found out that I would not be working with the woman that was abusive to the kids last year. Whew! I'm so thankful for that. I am now in a better mood about returning to school. YAY!
Yesterday I quit as a Mod on the board I've been a part of for a long time (8 yrs). I feel it was the best thing to do. I wish that things could be different but, they're not. So, I am not going to be an active part of that board anymore. Cliques aren't my thing, too bad it's not handled over there. Oh well. Seems the trolls are coming out of hiding now that the big bad bitch is gone. LOL. Truly pathetic that some people need the approval from people they've never met. It's sad that people buy into the bull of some of those women. What's really sad is that people go there and lie about their "perfect" lives. Or what's worse, lie about their lives being harder than they are, I call that the Cinderella syndrome.
Enough of that. Brings me down. I'm done. I've had some great supportive emails (and a phone call) from some of the women that I will keep in touch with. That has made me really happy. I knew when the chips were down, there were some that were really friends in spirit and not just in words.
I met MY new teacher today too. She is just out of college and has never worked with Autism kids before. She seems really nice and sweet. She also seems like she is really trying to learn about Autism. I also found out that I would not be working with the woman that was abusive to the kids last year. Whew! I'm so thankful for that. I am now in a better mood about returning to school. YAY!
Yesterday I quit as a Mod on the board I've been a part of for a long time (8 yrs). I feel it was the best thing to do. I wish that things could be different but, they're not. So, I am not going to be an active part of that board anymore. Cliques aren't my thing, too bad it's not handled over there. Oh well. Seems the trolls are coming out of hiding now that the big bad bitch is gone. LOL. Truly pathetic that some people need the approval from people they've never met. It's sad that people buy into the bull of some of those women. What's really sad is that people go there and lie about their "perfect" lives. Or what's worse, lie about their lives being harder than they are, I call that the Cinderella syndrome.
Enough of that. Brings me down. I'm done. I've had some great supportive emails (and a phone call) from some of the women that I will keep in touch with. That has made me really happy. I knew when the chips were down, there were some that were really friends in spirit and not just in words.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Sally V. Garcia
I haven't gotten over here to post about it. I went back to Cali on the 4th of July. The whole way I was worried sick that she would be gone before I got there. I made it. I was warned about what I would see. I was still not prepared. She was emmaciated, and dying before my eyes. She was in so much pain that to even brush her skin with my fingertips, hurt her.
During that time, a constant prayer was running in my head. Just a constant, "Please let her live long enough for my Dad to get here and say goodbye." That was it. I did things for her that I have never done for another adult. Things that made me realize what a gift I had been given. To care for her the way she cared for me in my infant and childhood. To be able to be there to say goodbye. To let her know that I was there, that I loved her, that she could go peacefully.
I talked to her, made jokes, and cried. She waggled her eyebrows at me. She let me know that she was aware of me. She opened her eyes and looked at my Dad, then she let go. It was the most peaceful, beautiful, special moment. I was so thankful to be there for that.
This is what I posted on antoher site that sums it all up:
I got into Sacramento at about 5 on Friday (the fourth) and went straight to my Aunt's house. Gramma looked so bad. I could tell she was almost gone. It's hard to describe what it's like to see someone you love so much wasted away like that. She was breathing erratically. She wasn't on any tubes or anything except oxygen. I went in, told her I loved her, that I was there. Cracked some jokes (as hard as that was) when I laughed, she waggled her eyebrows at me. She was on a lot of morphine and methadone for the pain.
It's so strange, we only found out about the Cancer two weeks ago. Two weeks. I really believe once she heard that, she was done. She couldn't fight it and decided to quit. So, I spoke with her on the phone Sunday (she was still walking then) her voice was tired but she was still getting around. I spoke with her last Tuesday, she was very weak, couldn't speak well, super tired, no longer mobile. I got there Friday, she was completely out of it. She did open her eyes once to look at me, and was still waggling her eyebrows at my off color jokes. Saturday she had very labored breathing. I told her to please hold on, Dad was coming in at one. I called my MIL and she came with the Deacon to give Last Rites. Dad pulls up, comes in, she opens her eyes and sees him. Closes her eyes, takes one last breath and is gone. There was no gasping or fighting for air. I was so blessed to be there for that. It was so beautiful and peaceful. After all the pain she was in, God took her gently. We cried and prayed over her. She was at peace.
I know, I KNOW she waited for my Dad to get there before she let go. She chose her time. I am heart broken that my beautiful Gramma is gone. I mourn the time I missed with her. I mourn that I didn't get to see her more in the last two years. I mourn that my children didn't get a chance to know this amazing woman.
I am blessed that I got to help her in her time of need. One aunt and her husband had been caring for Gramma. An uncle had helped out a lot. I was there to help turn and change her. I was there to do for her what she had done for me when I was a baby and child. I am so thankful that I got that time with her. I am on a journey to continue her kindnesses. She would feed people that came to the door, she would always offer a place of comfort and rest. She had 9 living children, and 42 grand and great grandchildren combined.
She told someone that when she died she was coming back a blonde. LOL She is my Gramma.
During that time, a constant prayer was running in my head. Just a constant, "Please let her live long enough for my Dad to get here and say goodbye." That was it. I did things for her that I have never done for another adult. Things that made me realize what a gift I had been given. To care for her the way she cared for me in my infant and childhood. To be able to be there to say goodbye. To let her know that I was there, that I loved her, that she could go peacefully.
I talked to her, made jokes, and cried. She waggled her eyebrows at me. She let me know that she was aware of me. She opened her eyes and looked at my Dad, then she let go. It was the most peaceful, beautiful, special moment. I was so thankful to be there for that.
This is what I posted on antoher site that sums it all up:
I got into Sacramento at about 5 on Friday (the fourth) and went straight to my Aunt's house. Gramma looked so bad. I could tell she was almost gone. It's hard to describe what it's like to see someone you love so much wasted away like that. She was breathing erratically. She wasn't on any tubes or anything except oxygen. I went in, told her I loved her, that I was there. Cracked some jokes (as hard as that was) when I laughed, she waggled her eyebrows at me. She was on a lot of morphine and methadone for the pain.
It's so strange, we only found out about the Cancer two weeks ago. Two weeks. I really believe once she heard that, she was done. She couldn't fight it and decided to quit. So, I spoke with her on the phone Sunday (she was still walking then) her voice was tired but she was still getting around. I spoke with her last Tuesday, she was very weak, couldn't speak well, super tired, no longer mobile. I got there Friday, she was completely out of it. She did open her eyes once to look at me, and was still waggling her eyebrows at my off color jokes. Saturday she had very labored breathing. I told her to please hold on, Dad was coming in at one. I called my MIL and she came with the Deacon to give Last Rites. Dad pulls up, comes in, she opens her eyes and sees him. Closes her eyes, takes one last breath and is gone. There was no gasping or fighting for air. I was so blessed to be there for that. It was so beautiful and peaceful. After all the pain she was in, God took her gently. We cried and prayed over her. She was at peace.
I know, I KNOW she waited for my Dad to get there before she let go. She chose her time. I am heart broken that my beautiful Gramma is gone. I mourn the time I missed with her. I mourn that I didn't get to see her more in the last two years. I mourn that my children didn't get a chance to know this amazing woman.
I am blessed that I got to help her in her time of need. One aunt and her husband had been caring for Gramma. An uncle had helped out a lot. I was there to help turn and change her. I was there to do for her what she had done for me when I was a baby and child. I am so thankful that I got that time with her. I am on a journey to continue her kindnesses. She would feed people that came to the door, she would always offer a place of comfort and rest. She had 9 living children, and 42 grand and great grandchildren combined.
She told someone that when she died she was coming back a blonde. LOL She is my Gramma.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Gramma Chole`
I'm sad. I hate being so far away. I hope she makes it till I can get there to visit. It's been two years since I've seen Gramma. I talked to her yesterday and she doesn't sound good at all. Three to six months is too short a time.
I think she is ready to go though. I don't think she wants to deal with the pain. She wants to see her friends again. She is one of the last.
My heart breaks for my Dad. My heart breaks for the Gramma I remember. Pray for her. Please.
I called to give her comfort and instead she gave blessings to my family. We are blessed to have known this wonderful, loving, caring, sweet woman. My memories give me comfort. So, so many memories to keep me warm in her love. So many precious memories. It's all we have left.
Jamie, remember sleeping with Gramma in her bed, we'd give back rubs to the person in front, then she'd tell us all to roll over and we'd get backrubs too.
Remember her chasing us around the yard with the metal flyswatter? Remember the kool aide that was so sweet it would make our teeth hurt? I remember learning to ride my bike in the parking lot across the street from her house, with her sitting yelling encouragement from the yard. I remember her always giving the best hugs. Telling us "tatterpillers" that she loved us.
Gramma is a butterfly, flying away from us.
I think she is ready to go though. I don't think she wants to deal with the pain. She wants to see her friends again. She is one of the last.
My heart breaks for my Dad. My heart breaks for the Gramma I remember. Pray for her. Please.
I called to give her comfort and instead she gave blessings to my family. We are blessed to have known this wonderful, loving, caring, sweet woman. My memories give me comfort. So, so many memories to keep me warm in her love. So many precious memories. It's all we have left.
Jamie, remember sleeping with Gramma in her bed, we'd give back rubs to the person in front, then she'd tell us all to roll over and we'd get backrubs too.
Remember her chasing us around the yard with the metal flyswatter? Remember the kool aide that was so sweet it would make our teeth hurt? I remember learning to ride my bike in the parking lot across the street from her house, with her sitting yelling encouragement from the yard. I remember her always giving the best hugs. Telling us "tatterpillers" that she loved us.
Gramma is a butterfly, flying away from us.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
School's out for summa!
Well, today was the last day of school. It was a tad pleasant with a bit of unpleasant. I am happy that I will no longer have to see a few of the parents that we had this year. I'm sad to see the back of the kids. :( I'll get to see a few of them in summer school (if I get to work). I haven't found out yet if I'm working summer school, that starts in three weeks! Geez. Budget cuts are deep this year. Sigh. Hopefully since I work through a grant, I will not be cut. Fingers crossed!
Dad should be driving down here at the end of next month or so. When Elizabeth gets her license, Dad will drive down the car he is giving her. I'm kinda afraid. I have a kid that can drive! Gulp! I have two kids in high school! Gulp, gulp!
Alyssia is going into fourth grade, she got a good report card overall. YAY! Juanito did really well, lots of E's and S's. His handwriting was an N though. He is just like his Papa. Why do you think that handwriting is graded? It's something that is individual to each person, right? Doctors make hecka money and their writing can get people KILLED!
We won't find out about the older two kids grades for a week or so, they get mailed. So, their doom is coming. Dun, dun, dun. Nah, they are both doing well, at least they were as of progress reports.
So, that's all on the eastern front. Wass up? Comment.
Dad should be driving down here at the end of next month or so. When Elizabeth gets her license, Dad will drive down the car he is giving her. I'm kinda afraid. I have a kid that can drive! Gulp! I have two kids in high school! Gulp, gulp!
Alyssia is going into fourth grade, she got a good report card overall. YAY! Juanito did really well, lots of E's and S's. His handwriting was an N though. He is just like his Papa. Why do you think that handwriting is graded? It's something that is individual to each person, right? Doctors make hecka money and their writing can get people KILLED!
We won't find out about the older two kids grades for a week or so, they get mailed. So, their doom is coming. Dun, dun, dun. Nah, they are both doing well, at least they were as of progress reports.
So, that's all on the eastern front. Wass up? Comment.
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